


Barter-house Rules

by AlexStone



Series: Tolkientober [3]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Tolkientober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexStone/pseuds/AlexStone
Summary: Merry tries to convince Pippin to spy on the Council of Elrond.
Relationships: Merry Brandybuck & Pippin Took
Series: Tolkientober [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948141
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Barter-house Rules

**Author's Note:**

> Day 5 for #Tolkientober! I appreciate the regular breaks put into this month, and have some fun ideas for this coming week. This prompt was for 'Hobbits', and I've really enjoyed writing Pippin.

“I’m being very clear,” Pippin explained, “I don’t want to do it, so I’m not going to do it.”

Merry stared at Pippin, before slapping his hands on the table and standing. He paced up around the Rivendell room for a moment, before turning back to point at Pippin.

“You are being selfish, Peregrin Took,” Merry scolded, “Frodo needs our help.”

“Frodo is a big boy, _Meriadoc Brandybuck._ He doesn’t need us to hold his hand,” Pippin drained the last of his coffee, “besides, Elrond is being selfish for organising his big to-do during breakfast.”

“You can eat breakfast whenever you want!” Merry punctuated each word with a jab at Pippin.

“Merry, that’s obscene. If I eat breakfast at a different time, I will need to organise a different time for brunch,” Pippin began to list the consequences on his fingers, “at that point I might as well throw out my schedule for lunch, tea, and supper, which frankly sounds like a lot of effort to listen to some elves talk. Besides, if it is as important as you think it is, Frodo will tell us about it afterwards.”

Merry let out a howl of frustration and stormed off to the balcony. The Rivendell waterfall crashed in the distance, a birds dived beneath the rushing waters. He had been arguing with Pippin all morning, and neither of them had gotten anywhere.

“Sam is going to be there,” Merry said quietly.

Pippin rolled his eyes and groaned. “Of course Sam is going to be there,” he waved his hand dismissively, “they’re basically joined at the hip.”

“No, Pip,” Merry turned, trying to convey a sense of urgency to his cousin, “Sam knows that something is up. Frodo’s not been sleeping since he got to Rivendell. The elves keep looking at him funny. This is important, and we need to be there.”

Pippin sighed. He could always rely on Merry taking things too seriously. He remembered the first time they had smoked pipe-weed together, Merry insisted on taking an hour long bath to wash the smell off of him.

“This is very touching,” Pippin attempted a more placating tone, “but we haven’t been invited. You always say I should be more responsible. I’m not going to go, and that’s that.”

Merry bit his lip and glared at Pippin. He crossed the room and leaned across the table. Neither hobbit broke eye contact with the other.

“One ounce,” Merry said.

“Two,” Pippin replied.

“Go to hell,” Merry shot back, “one and a half.”

“Two,” Pippin said, slower this time.

A strange look passed over Merry’s face. “One and a half,” he leaned in, whispering, “and I’ll tell you where Gandalf keeps his stash.”

Pippin paused. “You’re bluffing,” he whispered back, eyes darting around the room to make sure they were alone.

“I’ve seen it,” Merry said, a familiar mischievous look in his eyes, “the red bag in his room. There’s a pocket on the side. Almost ten ounces in there. It’s fragrant, too.”

Pippin whistled. “My my, Merry,” he grinned, hand placed at his chest in faux shock “you do know how to treat a lady.”

Merry put out his hand. Pippin stood, and shook it.

“Now, we know it is happening at breakfast,” Pippin said, pacing around the table, “so our best plan will be to go to the kitchen, and exit out the side entrance. I’ve already checked it, and we should be able to get through without anyone noticing.”

Merry’s jaw dropped.

“You think so little of me. Of course I was going to help you,” Pippin put his hand to his forehead and sighed dramatically, “I never work for free though.”

Merry opened his mouth to speak, before closing it. He raised his hand, and thought again. After a moment he let out a groan of frustration. “Tooks!” he yelled, throwing his hands in the air.

Pippin laughed and turned to exit. “I’ll expect the pipe-weed on my pillow within the hour,” he called behind him, before whistling a folk tune to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on twitter at @AlexStoneWriter! Comments are greatly appreciated.
> 
> You can find the full list of Tolkientober prompts here: https://twitter.com/hobbitgay/status/1311350783238045696


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